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Eram quod es, eris quod sum
Sex and Medical Malpractice
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Eram quod es, eris quod sum

Chapter 25
Sometimes a Strange Longing


'Does this skirt make my butt look big?' Bilis asked. )

Back to Chapter 24: The Water's Edge



Summary: We return to Gwen and Foreman because we eventually must. Turns out, a dark threat still lingers, and it’s not just Myfanwy come to take everyone to her love nest.

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Eram quod es, eris quod sum

Chapter 24
The Water's Edge


As Adric regained consciousness, a tangled black and white blur resolved into Susan’s snoring visage... )

To Chapter 25: Sometimes a Strange Longing

Back to Chapter 23: Part 2



Summary: There comes a point when characters keep falling into water far too often for it to be anything but some strange fetish on the author’s part. At that point, the author can make a conscious decision either to stop getting people wet or to embrace the fluids. Or, the author can write about mermaids, which is the best of both worlds.

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Chapter 23
Déjà vu of Déjà vu of Déjà vu
(Part 2 of 2)


Colon and Nobby patrolled along the river Ankh... )

To Chapter 24: The Water's Edge

Back to Chapter 23: Part 1



Summary: House and Vimes learn important information, but get very annoyed by Lord Vetinari. Donna gets suspicious of things. Carrot brings the Doctor, Owen, and Sarah Jane to a place they can stay, but it's not exactly what they expected. Wilson and Archimedes are lost. Also, where the hell is Tosh?

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Chapter 23
Déjà vu of Déjà vu of Déjà vu
(Part 1 of 2)


Tosh was pretty sure her eyes were open, but she couldn't see. )

To Chapter 23: Part 2

Back to Chapter 22: Birds of a Feather



Summary: House and Vimes learn important information, but get very annoyed by Lord Vetinari. Donna gets suspicious of things. Carrot brings the Doctor, Owen, and Sarah Jane to a place they can stay, but it's not exactly what they expected. Wilson and Archimedes are lost. Also, where the hell is Tosh?

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Chapter 22
Birds of a Feather


Lisa Cuddy woke with a pounding headache. )

To Chapter 23: Déjà vu of Déjà vu of Déjà vu

Back to Chapter 21: Part 2



Summary: Everyone's adrift.

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Chapter 21
In Which the Doctor Medicates Many People
(Part 2 of 2)


'Absolutely not!' Susan snapped. )

To Chapter 22: Birds of a Feather

Back to Chapter 21: Part 1



Summary: Illicit affairs, drugs, murder, piracy, and tentacles. How scandalous!

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Chapter 21
In Which the Doctor Medicates Many People
(Part 1 of 2)


Elise von Lahnstein had really done afternoon tea right. )

To Chapter 21: Part 2

Back to Chapter 20: Interview with a Vampire



Summary: Illicit affairs, drugs, murder, piracy, and tentacles. How scandalous!

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Chapter 20
Interview with a Vampire


Susan and Adric rematerialized amidst Death’s field of golden wheat. )

To Chapter 21: In Which the Doctor Medicates Many People

Back to Chapter 19: Fairy Tails



Summary: Fate drops Susan, Adric, and Ten in the middle of a feud between two aristocratic German families in the 18th century because, let's face it, fate's a bit of a bugger.

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Chapter 19
Fairy Tails


Everywhere, words have real power. )

To Chapter 20: Interview with a Vampire

Back to Chapter 18: Escape from Singapore



Summary: Rabid Rabbit Sally races Not A Turtle Donna, while elsewhere House gets Vimes into trouble and Carrot is stuck playing babysitter. Also, several dubious characters appear, and one of them likes to play fetch.

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Chapter 18
Escape from Singapore


Elizabeth surveyed Captain Jack Harkness, eyeing him up and down, and up and down, and then a little further down.... )

To Chapter 19: Fairy Tails

Back to Chapter 17: Part 2



Summary: Time doesn't go forward when you're having fun, 'cause there's too much good stuff to describe. Elizabeth beats people up, Christian makes unexpected relatives, and Captain Jack Sparrow and Will Turner finally show up.

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Chapter 17
Into the Fire
(Part 2 of 2)


'They're called durians,' Gregor explained. )

To Chapter 18: Escape from Singapore

Back to Chapter 17: Part 1



Summary: It’s all a bit domestic until rock golems burn down Singapore. Two of our heroes get kidnapped, Cuddy bids against Barbossa for a toothbrush, Gregor and Ianto bond over magic coffee, and sociopathic mermaids attack a ship.

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Chapter 17
Into the Fire
(Part 1 of 2)


A pause followed Lisa Cuddy’s declaration about her need for dental hygiene... )

To Chapter 17: Part 2

Back to Chapter 16: The Universe



Summary: It’s all a bit domestic until rock golems burn down Singapore. Two of our heroes get kidnapped, Cuddy bids against Barbossa for a toothbrush, Gregor and Ianto bond over magic coffee, and sociopathic mermaids attack a ship.

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Chapter 16
The Universe


The TARDIS was empty, but not for long. )

To Chapter 17: Into the Fire

Back to Chapter 15: Divine Heroin Muffin



Summary: Wilson babysits an accidental addition to the TARDIS crew while everyone else goes to Ankh-Morpork and gets arrested.

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Chapter 15
Divine Heroin Muffin


The Doctor slammed the door shut, drowning out cries of 'Exterminate!' )

To Chapter 16: The Universe

Back to Chapter 14: What Happened Next



Summary: Timelines are in chaos as Ten breaks the time lock on the stolen Earth, the effects of the BRAIN factory battle reach Discworld and news of Elizabeth’s supposed suicide spreads across Singapore.

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Chapter 14
What Happened Next


Tosh could scarcely believe it. )

To Chapter 15: Divine Heroin Muffin

Back to Arc 2: The Search for Chula



Summary: Owen finds an orgasmatron aboard Four's TARDIS, Ten can't figure out the properties of ketchup, Cuddy becomes sex-obsessed, Susan has to deal with ducks infesting Death's Domain. Oh, and Daleks.

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Arc 2
The Search for Chula


Samuel Vimes awoke suddenly as if from a bad dream... )

To Chapter 14: What Happened Next

Back to Chapter 13: Part 3



Summary: Three stories that will rock your world and then steal your lunch money.

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Chapter 13
Divine Tragedy
(Part 3 of 3)


Tosh slammed her wrists against the jagged edge of broken railing... )

To Arc 2: The Search for Chula

Back to Chapter 13: Part 2



Summary: A finale chapter so epic it requires three posts. A battle in a factory under Washington DC, a sexual liaison involving House, Jack and Wilson, and a diagnosis for Gwen are just the highlights as Arc 1: Conspiracy Theories comes to a thrilling conclusion.

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Chapter 13
Divine Tragedy
(Part 2 of 3)


When the computer screens began spewing alien text at her, Cameron knew she was in trouble. )

To Chapter 13: Part 3

Back to Chapter 13: Part 1



Summary: A finale chapter so epic it requires three posts. A battle in a factory under Washington DC, a sexual liaison involving House, Jack and Wilson, and a diagnosis for Gwen are just the highlights as Arc 1: Conspiracy Theories comes to a thrilling conclusion.

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Chapter 13
Divine Tragedy
(Part 1 of 3)


Jack and Ianto took turns beating the front car bumper with the axe... )

To Chapter 13: Part 2

Back to Chapter 12: Words Fly Up




Summary: A finale chapter so epic it requires three posts. A battle in a factory under Washington DC, a sexual liaison involving House, Jack and Wilson, and a diagnosis for Gwen are just the highlights as Arc 1: Conspiracy Theories comes to a thrilling conclusion.

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Chapter 12
Words Fly Up


House parked his motorcycle... )

To Chapter 13: Divine Tragedy

Back to Interlude: Modus Operandi




Summary: Gwen, believing she is dying, wants to make final amends with her various love interests but only succeeds in stirring the pot. Everyone else battles onward toward the Drumthwacket transmats leading to the alien factory under the DC botanical gardens.

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Interlude
Modus Operandi


Death’s robes itched. )

To Chapter 12: Words Fly Up

Back to Chapter 11: The Highly Unlikely But Otherwise Excellent Adventures of Gregory House and Friends




Summary: Susan stalks RTD while Death stalks Adric. Jamie discovers the Internet.

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Chapter 11
The Highly Unlikely But Otherwise Excellent Adventures of Gregory House and Friends


House navigated himself through the still gently smoking ruins that used to be the PPTH parking garage. )

To Interlude: Modus Operandi

Back to Chapter 10: Do You, Mr. Jones?



Summary: Cuddy and Jack fight off an earthquake while killer teacups attack House and try to kidnap Gwen. Chase is abducted by an old woman. Ianto and Tosh continue to live in soap opera land.

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Chapter 10
Do You, Mr. Jones?


Cuddy had found Chase a wheelchair. )

To Chapter 11: The Highly Unlikely But Otherwise Excellent Adventures of Gregory House and Friends

Back to Chapter 9: Part 2



Summary: Cuddy goes Rambo and Jack gets naked... that’s really all you need to know, isn’t it?

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Chapter 9
The Ninth Circle
(Part 2 of 2)


In the darkness, Monty needed a few minutes to be sure he was awake and not still dreaming. )

To Chapter 10: Do You, Mr. Jones?

Back to Chapter 9: Part 1



Summary: Tosh and Ianto go to Hell, while Jack and House merely go to the morgue. Foreman and Owen are locked in the morgue, but you’ll have to read to find out if the corpse lockers are the new car boot. Also, if Cameron and Chase were animals, what animals would they be? Here’s a hint: not ducklings.

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Chapter 9
The Ninth Circle
(Part 1 of 2)


A soft light glowed at the bottom of the ladder... )

To Chapter 9: Part 2

Back to Interlude: How Do They Rise Up?



Summary: Tosh and Ianto go to Hell, while Jack and House merely go to the morgue. Foreman and Owen are locked in the morgue, but you’ll have to read to find out if the corpse lockers are the new car boot. Also, if Cameron and Chase were animals, what animals would they be? Here’s a hint: not ducklings.

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Muskratio & Suninos
Name: Muskratio & Suninos
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